TeaRs
突然湧入的難過
無解
不懂
越來越不討喜的個性
在逼我什麼
6 years ago
20091130
20091115
20091101
EnVY
maybe what i need is just being alone for a while. leave some space for myself. A huge wave of tiredness makes me feel really bad. I'm on that boat. i just couldn't figure out the destination i really long for. sometimes i envy emotionally.
20091024
wIErd
Some parts of me were changed.
i barely have time to read my Google Reader, find interesting stuffs from internet, enjoy music, stand alone, reflect and feel.
My concentration has been thrown to the reality.
Does it mean that i have a solid life?
Once I said, interest leads every effort, proudly and loudly. However, what is the driving force to me now? A fancy house? Lots of money? Attractive travel?
I dont want the pages sketching my life are flipped so fast.
I dont want to regret at the moment of dying.
Everything seems so fine now that I shouldn't have complained. But I just feel bad when I'm not occupied by anything.
20091007
20090930
時時刻刻(The Hours) 4/20
時時刻刻這部片子在剛看完的時候，真的讓我覺得好沉重，也許就想老師說的，面對生命的話題，常常都會是那麼沉重的，當然也許我們可以用較為輕快的心情去面對，但這就要看誰有這般能耐了。
先說說我對這部片子的感覺，其實一開始看的時候有點複雜難懂，雖然說到後半段已經開始理解這部電影在講什麼了，但是其實因為情緒被電影帶著跑，很難很快的釐清一些感覺。在經過討論之後，我比較在議的是在這部片子中不斷出現的「溝通之牆」，這座牆始終存在著，於是讓三位女主角都很痛苦。我其實挺相信有一次寶鳳老師提到的「人有對話才有快樂」，也許說的沒有那麼滿，但是我想大概的意思就是可以有人(或是其他事、物)可以和自己互相對話，通常這樣會有健康的心理。我覺得再這個部份拋給我一個很大的問號就是「如何在完成自己對生命的要求與期待的同時，折衷的和現實妥協，抓到那個愉快相處在這兩者之間的平衡點」。
在討論生命的同時，我認為就會牽扯到死亡，這是一體兩面的，躲也躲不掉的，還記得上學期看過一本「十四堂星期二的課」，我很記得裡面提到的一個概念─想要擁抱生命就要能夠面對死亡。我想這話是有很深的意涵在裡頭的。「我們為何而生？為何而死？」、「生命的意義為何？」……等等太多讓許多人迷惑困擾的問號在生命的許多時間點浮現，尤其開始意識到某些感受的時候，例如：幸福、愛、生、老、病、死、失去、挫折…等。兒我们如果能夠用最健康或是最彈性的態度去面對這麼嚴肅的課題，我想會是很有收穫的，至少任何一種結果都會是個人對自我、對生命探索的一種映射。
20090926
20090912
20090830
20090823
20090808
FaIrY Tale
"What if Prince Charming had never showed up?
Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever?
Or would she have eventually woken up, spit out the apple, gotten a job, a health-care package , and a baby from her local neighborhood sperm bank?
I couldn't help but wonder: inside every confident, driven single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?"
20090731
20090624
20090620
20090616
2003/11/13 日誌（五）
很有趣的，今天的課程是一場公聽會的模擬，主題是「小樹何去何從？」今天老師用了類似公聽會的方式，讓大家為小樹的何去何從辯論一番。整各過程其實挺有趣的，因為很明顯的有幾個歷程：表態→對立→爭吵→和緩→讓步→結論。當然，這幾個過程與轉折，老師都像個無形的推手，強化這樣的效果。
在這裡，我覺得很有意思的，是大夥兒的態度，我們似乎可以很快的發現，難以用「咄咄逼人」或是「唯我獨尊」的語調去攻破對方的論點，這樣只會帶來反效果，強化了彼此對立的那面牆。這又讓我想到在「最後十四堂星期二的課」，書中墨瑞曾提到，他相信人性本善，人只有在受到威脅時才變得醜惡。也許這句話用在這裡不很妥當，但我想說的是，我們應該要思考一些關於爭論的問題：我們的目的為何？對方的目的為何？我所用的方法與會得到的結果有何關聯？
會不會好奇為什麼我會提出這種問題？因為我覺得，生活的每一個角落，幾乎都在上演著規模不同的辯論會，小從和周圍的人起口角，大到爭論宇宙的膨脹與否，而「教育」的整個領域更是不在話下，除了現在很流行的「教改」的辯論，平日教師、學校、家長、學生之間的爭執，無一不需要跟不同立場的人對話、溝通、說服…。若能越快學會這之間的技巧與平衡感，我們也越能掌握這爭執的走向吧！
20090611
20090608
20090531
20090527
20090525
20090520
20090519
2003/10/23 日誌（二）
今天，我學到了…
- Every mistake is good.
- Facilitator or Justice
我認為，老師的工作絕對不在於只是判斷誰是誰非，給予何種處罰，而且我也認為，有時候也不一定要像偵探般，在學生你一言我一語的「證詞」中，推敲事實的真相，因為引導學習才是我們老師最終的目的，否則即使我們處罰了錯的人，幫對的人討回了公道，對學生也沒有更正向的幫助，問題也一直存在，愛欺負同學的還是欺負同學，常受人欺負的同學也始終受人欺負，到最後光處理學生的「告狀」可能就讓教師焦頭爛額了吧！不過，我想要能夠勝任一個「Facilitator」的角色是不容易的，如何將問題轉化成教育的力量想必是需要經驗的累積與敏銳的觀察力。而這也許正是教育的藝術與技巧吧！
- 舞台的迷思
其實，每天可以學習的東西很多，但看我們有沒有去用心挖掘這些寶物，老師就是一個協助學生學習的幫手，點醒我們該怎麼去學；就像這堂「班級經營」，實在不能說是一門輕鬆的課，因為我知道有很多東西在手邊，但是常常沒有注意到，如果老師沒有提醒我們，也許我們就遺漏了一些寶貴的概念或是隱藏在技巧背後的道理，我想這堂課交了一個我從來沒有注意到的部分---善用「思考與觀察」！如此，才能聰明的再別人的經驗與言行舉止中學會一些關鍵的道理。
20090517
StoPPing
sometimes i just can't figure out.
if i were a fish, what kind of water i would enjoy within?
or, does the water matter?
here, i stop to reflect.
20090507
2003/10/16 日誌（一）
今天，我學到了…
- 技術和概念。
我們都知道，純熟而精確的技術，可以讓課程順利進行，可以技巧的化解師生尷尬的場面，可以改善班級的風氣，那教育的概念呢？一個老師的生命經驗通常是他的教育概念、原則的根據，也就是說，不同的老師面對同樣的情況所做的反應是不一樣的。技術，是可以學習模仿的，那概念呢？我想並不是說學就學的，因為若不是大從心底認同這樣的教育概念，光只是學表面的「概念」，必定不能長久，而且我想在教學的現場中，一定會不斷的與自我相衝，最後終嚐敗果。就像老師上課所提的，我們要學的應該是學習思考，看到老師的「技巧」背後是如何將教師本身的生命經驗融合於教學上。我想這種概念是我最近才開始接受到的，過去大多會認定此為每個教師的「個人風格」，但是我覺得與其說個人風格，不如用每個人的「生命經驗」去了解，因為前者容易讓人執著於「個人風格」四個字中，反而去刻意而不自然的「塑造」自己的風格，其實仔細想想，每個人的風格不都是由生命經驗一點一滴的累積而成嗎？沒有好或不好的風格，只有有沒有正面效果的教育技術，而從個人的教育概念到技術中間的的轉化過程，才是我們真正該用力去學習的吧！
20090506
20090429
terRibLe EnglSH
hu~~~~~~~~~~finally, i did it.
the feeling as having a problem solved is always so right. ha~
but, i even have not start my work.
what a long night is.
20090426
CLeAr
today, i still appreciate the friendship. you're the best.
tonight, i felt better after speaking all out. because i realized that i am still me, even been through all the years. i love myself as i'm used to be.
there's still one thing to do---being happy for my hk trip and just enjoying it.
20090413
20090412
lEt Me go
i'm gettin' to be tired of those trifles.
i just can't.
if it's my problem, please just tell me and let me go.
20090411
20090407
20090406
sloW DowN, swEEtIe
there're always books telling great stories happened in the world. some great guys made their selves to be great. usually they had faught really hard and conquered every, or almost, hurdle. they've learnt and people around them have learnt as well. we're told or hinted to take them as role models. fight the struggles and insist on making our dreams come true. it seems that every great beautiful exciting story about success has a pattern---just go for your dream and hunt it. but, what if there is no dream? or, if we don't know ourselves pretty much, are we destined for being losers?
should any book guiding people to find (not get) their "true dream" exist?
20090323
aRt oF doubT
the most terrible thing for me is being doubt.
it makes you couldn't do what you should do straight.
instead, you start to think.
doubts inspire changes but bring struggles usually.
it is applicable over all my world.
20090320
20090311
20090221
maY nOT....
有一種我偏好且屬於的寫作模式
寫下所有瞬間浮現的文句和畫面
像是
老鼠
藥局
奔跑
............
永遠有一種夢幻的風格
你告訴我
你是我文章的忠實拜讀者
我搞不清楚
但是我卻很自由
我想我將近哭了
很享受淋浴的時空
和獨自和這杯可以作為擋箭牌的牛奶默默的
和那藍色沙發化成一幅靜態圖像
我想我將近哭了十分鐘吧
如果我有哭
是我掉了靈魂
還是根本沒有靈魂
你只是發現了我
你想我真的不好.............
20090215
dyIng LoVe
i think maybe i need to be alone.
i'm always imagining that i have a house of my own.
it would be delicately nice and full of solitude.
i'd be there and practicing every single night.
it shines and occupies.
i was supposed to be run and run and run.
how terrible you are.
20090201
whY oR wHy nOT
I don't know really.
something's wrong. i am running on someone's way.
could Sorrow be nice and enjoyable?
20090131
20090130
20090128
20090121
iNauGUrAtioN AdDResS
TRANSCRIPT
Barack Obama’s Inaugural Address
Published: January 20, 2009
Following is the transcript of President Barack Obama’s Inaugural Address, as transcribed by CQ Transcriptions.
20090120
20090112
aFteR aLL
after all, you are faking.
recently, i'd been realizing that a person who is able to constrain someone is itself.
Thus, do not complain people treating you bad or mean.
you are the reason and set yourself to be that.
20090110
sWeEt SilENce
after all of these
i couldn't help to fall into my own depression.
a sweet silence has dropped down with the colour of dream.
smelling the sweet and hating myself would never ever have an ending.
20090104
2009 StriPPED
it's a perfect time for reflection. i've halted and been lost for quite a long time.
i met some people, but i lost one special.
my heart has been swinging between love and hate, sorrow and thankfulness, trust and defense.
please give me your strength and will to take every challenge for granted.
" I'm always looking to go new places creatively.
That's hard sometimes,
because you're setting yourself up for people loving it or hating it.
But i'm willing to take that risk. "
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